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R Hassan's avatar

Thank you for sharing this magnificent poem.

Just one point re كلا لا وزر - as I understand, it is wazar - in ref to a verse in scripture (al-qiyamah: 11), not wizr. It is a refuge - the Arabs would use it for a mountain, some place to escape to. There is a play on a couple of the verses from this surah and the references to the day of Judgement, e.g. أين المفر, and works really very well in getting across both the sense of doom, but also of utter helplessness and futility of trying to escape - there is no refuge.

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The Scholar's avatar

Thank you, Hasan! I was debating between refuge and burden for that particular line. Sometimes I refer to other lines that contain the word in question, and in this case, burden was so prevalent that I opted for it instead. However, I really like your version now and will make the corrections.

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Salik's avatar

I believe there’s a missing line in your translations that is present in the video.

‏أحلامه لها صور

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The Scholar's avatar

Thank you, Salik, for your input :) I actually noticed that myself when first reviewing the poem, but the Dewan site I was referencing didn’t include that line, so I chose to omit it as well. In poems like these, there are often slight variations and alterations: word replacements (for example, "doctor" replacing "lovers" in A Message from Underwater), omissions of lines (as in the poem above), and so on. It was a last-minute decision to remove it, although it’s still included in the draft version of the poem. If you were wondering about its meaning: "its dreams have photos"

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Matthew Hall's avatar

Very nice 👍 painting!

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Echoes From My Soul's avatar

Beautiful

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Brett Hetherington's avatar

"Imprisoned in his skin." Automatically guilty without any action. Identity is proof of guilt.

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Louiza’s Playground's avatar

Very beautiful, thank you. Do you write in Arabic and then translate to English? I write poetry in English, but it’s never crossed my mind to try translating it into Arabic. I’m not even sure I could if I tried. It’s like the two languages live in completely separate corners of my brain, not connected in any way that feels useful.

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May 8
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The Scholar's avatar

❤️❤️❤️

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