Poem #12. A Message from Underwater

By Nizar Qabbani, translated by The Scholar

Source: Pinterest https://pin.it/6T27f4A6G

[Standard Translation]

If you are my friend… help me
To leave you…
Or if you are my lover… help me
To heal from you.
If I knew love to be dangerous thus
Love I would not.
If I knew the ocean to be thus deep,
Sail I would not.
If I knew of my end,
I would not have begun.
I miss you... so teach me
To not miss.
Teach me
How to cut the roots of your love from within the deep.
Teach me
How the heart dies and yearnings commit suicide.

If you are a prophet… save me
From this magic,
From this blasphemy.
Your love is blasphemous… so purify me
From this blasphemy.
If you are strong… draw me out
From this sea,
For I do not know the art of swimming.
The blue wave of your eyes… drags me towards the deep,
And I have no experience
In love… and I have no boat…
If dear I am towards you… take my hand,
For I am a lover from head… to toe.
And I breathe beneath the water,
I am drowning…
Drowning…
Drowning…

إن كنت صديقي.. ساعدني
كي أرحل عنك..
أو كنت حبيبي.. ساعدني
كي أشفى منك
لو أني أعرف أن الحب خطيرٌ جداً
ما أحببت
لو أني أعرف أن البحر عميقٌ جداً
ما أبحرت..
لو أني أعرف خاتمتي
ما كنت بدأت...
إشتقت إليك.. فعلمني
أن لا أشتاق
علمني
كيف أقص جذور هواك من الأعماق
علمني
كيف تموت الدمعة في الأحداق
علمني
كيف يموت القلب وتنتحر الأشواق

إن كنت نبياً .. خلصني
من هذا السحر..
من هذا الكفر
حبك كالكفر.. فطهرني
من هذا الكفر..
إن كنت قوياً.. أخرجني
من هذا اليم..
فأنا لا أعرف فن العوم
الموج الأزرق في عينيك.. يجرجرني نحو الأعمق
وأنا ما عندي تجربةٌ
في الحب.. ولا عندي زورق..
إن كنت أعز عليك .. فخذ بيدي
فأنا عاشقةٌ من رأسي .. حتى قدمي
إني أتنفس تحت الماء..
إني أغرق..
أغرق..
أغرق..

[Translation With Romanization]

If you are my friend… help me
إن كنت صديقي.. ساعدني
In kuntu sadiqi.. sa‘idni

To leave you…
كي أرحل عنك..
Ki arhal ‘anka..

Or if you are my lover… help me
أو كنت حبيبي.. ساعدني
Aw kuntu habibi.. sa‘idni

To heal from you.
كي أشفى منك
Ki asha fi minka

If I knew love to be dangerous thus
لو أني أعرف أن الحب خطيرٌ جداً
Law anni a‘rifu anna al-hub khatirun jiddan

Love I would not.
ما أحببت
Ma ahbabtu

If I knew the ocean to be thus deep,
لو أني أعرف أن البحر عميقٌ جداً
Law anni a‘rifu anna al-bahr ‘amiqun jiddan

Sail I would not.
ما أبحرت..
Ma abharat..

If I knew of my end,
لو أني أعرف خاتمتي
Law anni a‘rifu khatimati

I would not have begun.
ما كنت بدأت...
Ma kuntu bada'tu...

I miss you... so teach me
إشتقت إليك.. فعلمني
Ishtaqtu ilayk.. fa‘allimni

To not miss.
أن لا أشتاق
An la ashtaq

Teach me
علمني
‘Allimni

How to cut the roots of your love from within the deep.
كيف أقص جذور هواك من الأعماق
Kayfa aqsu judhur hawak min al-a‘maq

Teach me
علمني
‘Allimni

How the heart dies and yearnings commit suicide.
كيف تموت الدمعة في الأحداق
Kayfa tamutu ad-dam‘a fi al-ahdaq

If you are a prophet… save me
إن كنت نبياً .. خلصني
In kuntu nabiyan.. khallilni

From this magic,
من هذا السحر..
Min hadha as-sihr..

From this blasphemy.
من هذا الكفر
Min hadha al-kufr

Your love is blasphemous… so purify me
حبك كالكفر.. فطهرني
Hubbuka kal-kufr.. faṭahhirni

From this blasphemy.
من هذا الكفر..
Min hadha al-kufr..

If you are strong… draw me out
إن كنت قوياً.. أخرجني
In kuntu qawiyan.. akhrujni

From this sea,
من هذا اليم..
Min hadha al-yam..

For I do not know the art of swimming.
فأنا لا أعرف فن العوم
Fa'ana la a‘rifu fann al-‘awm

The blue wave of your eyes… drags me towards the deep,
الموج الأزرق في عينيك.. يجرجرني نحو الأعمق
Al-mawj al-azraq fi ‘aynik.. yujarriruni nahwa al-a‘maq

And I have no experience
وأنا ما عندي تجربةٌ
Wa'ana ma ‘indi tajriba

In love… and I have no boat.
في الحب.. ولا عندي زورق..
Fi al-hubb.. wa la ‘indi zuraq..

If dear I am towards you… take my hand,
إن كنت أعز عليك .. فخذ بيدي
In kuntu a‘azzu ‘alayka.. fakhudh biyadi

For I am a lover from head… to toe.
فأنا عاشقةٌ من رأسي .. حتى قدمي
Fa'ana ‘ashiqah min rasi.. hatta qadami

And I breathe beneath the water,
إني أتنفس تحت الماء..
Inni atanaffasu taht al-mayā'..

I am drowning,
إني أغرق..
Inni aghraq..

Drowning,
أغرق..
Aghraq..

Drowning…
أغرق..
Aghraq..

[Scholars Notes]

Nizar Qabbani needs not an introduction by now. Known as the "lady's poet" for his romantic poems and the "Arab's poet" for his political pieces, it comes as no surprise that his versatile writing embraces another all-too-common theme: despair.

We have all felt it. We have all been through it. Not the calm that comes from being underwater, but the suffocation of being trapped underneath the weight of the ocean, unable to escape, unable to break the water's surface. This is what Nizar does excellently in his poem A Message from Underwater. Though the message itself is intended towards someone as though it were a letter, seemingly to a lover (of course, Nizar could not stray too far from his themes of love), I interpreted it in another form. My lover is not in physical form but of mental manifestations. Not a “he” or a “she”, but an “it”, characterized by my devotion towards a dream I know will never manifest itself into reality.

Have you ever, dear reader, been so passionate about a project, a hobby, or a lifelong goal, only for the sudden realization to hit: "Maybe I'm not as good as I thought"? This occurrence has plagued me for the past week. It is to this “lover” to whom I appeal for help. "If you are my friend... help me," Nizar began such. To my dream, if you truly are a friend, my companion since childhood, why do you not help me? You must be a great poet like Nizar to consolidate all these emotions into tangible lines. When I could not describe how I was feeling, some other poet already had it in print.

This week's poem came to me during some difficult decision-making these past few weeks. As some of you may know, I applied to university (something I posted on notes) and was accepted into all three programs (the limit of applications). The problem? How to dwindle the list to one. Along my decision-making journey, I took poets of all sorts as my companions. Nizar Qabbani was one such poet, who helped put my thoughts into words and to better understand how I felt about certain aspects of my impending future. My translation is my way of giving thanks to one who has given his all.

I hope you appreciate the poem just as I have come to yearn with it. How did you interpret the poem? Is there any person, occurrence, or thought that was uprooted through its reading? Let me know, and I look forward to reading it!

Video: Poetry and recitation: Nizar Qabbani