Reject Imagination, Accept Reality
On the importance of accepting reality and what it can lead to.
Letter #7
I have an exam tomorrow. Should I be studying? Absolutely. Am I studying right now? Absolutely not. The days leading up to an exam are always spent in stress. I do not get any food or sleep that gives me rest. Only thoughts invade my mind and consume the same mind I need to achieve success. As such I write. There is nothing I can do but write. And as I write and reminisce. I think of past tests. Past exams. The endless stomach gnawing and stress must have affected me then as it does now. What did I do then? I must have written as well. Going through my journal catalog (as they have gotten so big and in need of further organization), I found an entry. This entry was written by me months prior, and in times of stress, has come back to guide me.
I consider this entry a message. A message from my past self to my present self, and a message that will guide my future self. Journaling itself has many benefits discussed here, but today we look at the result of journaling. Within this entry from months prior, I will leave the reader with excerpts from the wisdom I learned long ago.
Saturday, January 20th
Remember some of your lowest times. Your hardest times. The ones you thought would never end. The stress, the worries. I want you to let the moment resonate in your mind. Have it simmer and feel all of the emotions. Doesn’t feel good, right? There was, and still is, nothing positive about it. But you’ve surpassed. Overcome it. And there was no other way to do so than by accepting your reality.
Let me play out a common scenario that most, if not all of us have been through. You have a test the next day. It’s an important test, one that’s worth 10% of your grade. You have to ace it. You have to study for it. But what do you do instead? You begin to daydream. Of the satisfaction after the test. Your peers are jealous of your success. You taste the fruits of your hard work. But that doesn’t happen. Because of your daydream, your mind wanders off someplace where it shouldn’t be, you didn’t study as much as you would have hoped. Not enough to ace the test. Just enough to pass it. Enough to remain average.
The following day, it’s your rival who aced their test. The same one who has everything. The one with the good looks. The big friend group. And most of all, money. This person has it all. Always has, and always seems to have. Why is it that one person seems to have it all? You ask yourself? And another doesn’t. You begin to wish you were them. You wish you had their happiness, their life, and slowly, you begin to hate yourself. The only reason your life is as bad as it is is because your soul is stuck in the wrong body, you tell yourself. Had it been in theirs, everything would have worked out. The jealousy begins to consume you, and your mental health declines.
Both scenarios are a result of denying your reality. Instead of studying to ace the test, you imagined acing it. Instead of accepting your temporary failed test, you let it consume your mind as a whole and wish you were someone else.
Wishing you were someone else is a result of the belief, that the only solution to a certain situation, is for the person within a situation to not exist at all. That is not the problem, however, and the underlying problem is the belief that one's life is better than your own. It's cliche to say that you never know what someone is going through, and for all you know their glamorous life is all a facade, but this cliche is also the truth. You do not know what someone has gone through to get to where they were, what they are thinking, what they believe. Have you ever been in a room, laughing, smiling, and wishing you were everywhere but?
We often put up “facades” at a micro level and may not even notice we are doing so, so what's to stop other people from doing so as well? The true solution to stopping unrequited jealousy is to accept your reality.
”One man’s garbage is another man’s treasure” a famous saying that still stands true today. Who’s to say that the life you despise so much is not the life another desires? Once you truly let this feeling sink in, that this is who you are, this is your role in society, and this is the path you are taking, and changing the perspective from a negative one to a positive one, then you will begin to love yourself.
Maybe your hardships are the beginning of a change, and anything you're going through right now will be your motivation for the future. But before any steps can be made in moving forward, you must accept your reality.
Last Weeks Poll
Thank you to everyone who voted on last week's poll!! I appreciate every last one of you who considered voting toward an interactive series. As can be seen from the list, there is a tie between 3 of the options. As such, I will redo the poll at some future time. As for now, have a great day, and see you all next Sunday.
Thanks for sharing...this is a good reality check. I especially liked the part about hardships being the beginning of change...as this has been my personal experience. Thanks!
So true that we suffer more in our imagination than in reality. That's why practicing mindfulness and being present is so important to have a peaceful mind, and accepting that the mastery of it is by no means linear. Thanks for sharing your journal.